Bystanders Aren't Always So Innocent

This is how it usually goes. 

We're on break during a meeting or strategy session.  A participant pulls me aside and expresses concern about something that is happening in the group, something he thinks I as the external facilitator need to take care of when we regroup.

I listen attentively, thank the participant for sharing his perspective, and invite him to raise it with the group when we reconvene.  Typically, he looks at me in mild shock as if to say "You don't think I'm going to bring this up, do you?"

Well yes, I do. 

When we are members of a group or participants in a meeting and we see the opportunity to enhance the work we are doing together, it is our responsibility to share that in an appropriate manner.  Passing off this responsibility to an external facilitator is at best inappropriate and at worst manipulative.  Attempting to do so essentially is saying, "Look there's some stuff going on in the group that I don't like and I want taken care of, but I'm not about to do that.  You're the outsider here and you'll be gone tomorrow, so could you just go in and say what I think needs to be said since of course my motives are completely pure and my perspective 100% accurate?"

Not.  Going.  To happen.

Is it easier for an outsider to share an observation that may be difficult for members of a group to handle?  Perhaps, but not if it is an observation the facilitator him/herself does not own.  Is it effective?  Maybe in the moment.  But in the long run members of groups and teams have to learn how to share their perspectives with each other and respond accordingly.  And yes, that often can require challenging or somewhat uncomfortable conversations.

So if we don't want to take initiative to address a behavior or issue we think could help our team function more effectively, that's certainly an option available.  But doing so makes us enabling, not innocent, bystanders.  Let's not pretend otherwise.

The Folly of Following

"She'll be a hard act to follow."

So don't.

Just because you are following someone chronologically or in a leadership succession does not mean you have to follow them in all other ways.

We want your voice, your style, your strengths, your intentions, your aspirations.

Easily said, but not as easily done.

Meetings and Workshops: 15 Timeless Strategic Questions

Every day millions of people convene for meetings, strategy sessions, or workshops.  Over time the formats and agendas for these events become stale and need refreshing. 

Here are a dozen timeless strategic questions that can always yield fresh thinking for the design of your next gathering.  

What would make the …

1. Community more connected?
2. Conversation more compelling? 
3. Intention more worthy of investment?
4. Process/pace more productive? 
5. Environment more inviting? 
6. Presentations more powerful? 
7. Connections more concrete? 
8. Experience more engaging? 
9. Usefulness more immediate?
10. Presenters/panelists more provocative?  
11. Visuals more valuable? 
12. Meaning more memorable?  
13. Output more shareable?
14. Truth more transparent? 
15. Learning more actionable?

I'll offer answers to these questions and provide practicals tips in my new feature, Facilitation Fridays beginning in August.

WWIF #18: The Final Question

I've enjoyed posing new "what if?" thinking each week the past four months, but now want to turn to creating a new weekly feature: Facilitation Fridays.

For the WWIF finale, I'd like to turn this post into a Q&A on any topic related to leadership, community building, learning, association management, or meetings and conferences. 

Ask me anything you want by posing your question as a comment to the post ... questions about a resource, ways to handle a situation, ideas for a challenge you are facing, etc.  I'll post my response as a reply to your comment.

Drop the Drag

Airplanes have winglets that reduce air friction.

Ford Motor Company added small dimples to tailight covers and improved fuel consumption 1%.

We all experience a drag on our energy and efficiency on a daily basis.

Sometimes the smallest change can make a difference.

What's one thing you can drop or change today that will reduce your drag and give lift to your intentions?

Know Know ... No No ... Do Do

What gets you ahead in life?

Some used to say it is what you know.  Knowledge makes things happen.

Others countered it is who you know.  Relationships make things happen.

In this era of social media, people now suggest it's any of the following:

• What you know about who you know
• Who you know and what they know
• Who you know and who they know
• What who they know ... know

But remember, knowing is a necessary but not sufficient part of progress. Results still come from what you do with what (and who) you know.

To think social media has changed that would be a definite no-no.

WWIF#17: Delivering Fare for Fans Versus Seeking Fanfare

What is it that we're living for
Applause, applause
Nothing I know brings on the glow
Like sweet applause

from Applause, lyrics by Lee Adams

We all have ego needs, but my Midwestern sensibilities are always a bit surprised when they encounter individuals or organizations that proclaim themselves to be the top dog, leading this or that, or #1 in their own profession or industry.

I may be a bit naive here, but I've always believed that if you do excellent work, others will take notice.  Sure, we all have to engage in a bit of self-promotion, but isn't the best word of mouth spontaneous rather than manufactured, manipulated, self-scripted, or solicited … particularly in an age when authenticity is prized?

What if instead of seeking fanfare we simply deliver better fare for our fans?  What if instead of trying to be the "indispensable __________ in our market" we create the value that others find indispensable and invaluable to their success?  What if we concentrate less on selling ourselves and more on sharing our insights and ideas?

Instead of saying "look at me, I'm great" I believe it is more rewarding to do great things worthy of others taking a look.  Instead of looking for ways to generate buzz, let's do more buzzworthy things.  Instead of being so concerned with our reputation in the moment, we should do momentous things that build a lifelong reputation.

This won't get you the most Twitter followers.
This won't get the greatest number of Diggs or Likes.

But do those really matter?

Your work truly can speak for itself, if what you are producing has something of value to say.  Otherwise, it's all just hype and noise that is here today and gone tomorrow.

Substance is more sustainable than sizzle.

Would Iron Eyes Cody Cry Because of You?

I doubt you throw trash on a roadway.

I bet you don't even drop candy wrappers on the street.

But I'm not so sure about your status as a e-polluter.

Every hour of every day people who wouldn't pollute our yards and streets with trash have no problem polluting our in boxes and social media sites with garbage.  They freely Tweet and Retweet with little regard to the waste they are spreading or how they may be using up others' attention.

Why?  Because they don't experience the consequences.  Senders don't experience the cost of lost attention or productivity from those they bombard with their unceasing messages and media.  Pollute often enough, however, and they will experience lose trust and credibility for being worthy of one's attention.

Yes, yes, yes, I know that we can choose to filter, tune out, and unsubscribe what comes at us.  But more thoughtful senders wouldn't force people to feel the need to do so.

If you are concerned about the sustainability of our natural environment, no doubt you are conscious of conserving its resources and cutting back.  If you are concerned about the sustainability of the attention of those with whom you communicate, you might do the same.

Make me hang on your every word and leave me wanting more instead of making me want to hang myself because you're so wordy.